The Traffic Rant

Pretty self explanatory. I've got a bone to pick with the general masses of people I encounter on a daily basis in my travels of this beautiful state of ours.

*When did the left lane become the slow lane? I pass signs all the time that say "Slower traffic keep right". Why are you in the left lane doing 55? Huh? And why do I get a look when I pass you doing the speed limit? You are the one in the wrong place. Move. When like 15 cars pass you, and the old lady in the Buick gives you the bird, it's time to move to the right, a la derecha, of all other traffic.

*Moving to the right brings me to my next point. MERGE. If you look this up in the dictionary, it's listed as a verb. A verb is an ACTION word. This means there is something that has to be done. MERGE means to combine two things together... so here's the deal. Car A wants on the freeway, which is flowing nicely at 65.... Car B sees Car A... Car B accommodates a SPEED INCREASING Car A who nicely inserts themselves into traffic and everyone continues on down the freeway. Yay. What you DO NOT want to do, I repeat DO NOT DO THE FOLLOWING! DO NOT try and enter the freeway while hitting your brakes. If you are slowing down, you are already jacking the flow of traffic. DO NOT enter the freeway doing 45 and cut someone off. ESPECIALLY if they have their blinker on. That little blinky light implies they want in the lane you're in. See MERGE.

*YIELD SIGN ≠ STOP SIGN. See GEOMETRY 101. TRIANGLE v. OCTAGON.

**If aforementioned yield sign is present, and you are turning right, and the straight traffic has a green light, you don't have to stop. :)

***Another note about this Yield Sign/Stop Sign miscommunication. If you don't see a difference in the four letter word STOP, and the five letter word, YIELD, please also retake English 101 and Math 101 because a four letter word does not equal a five letter word.

*Finally, if you are on a side street and there is a lane that I'm not in, and I'm going fast, turn into that lane. Better yet, wait until I pass. Please don't turn in front of me, into my lane, and then give me the "Go to hell" look when I change lanes to avoid bump drafting your back bumper for pulling out into oncoming traffic.

Please take note, and implement changes immediately. Thx! :) CC